This exercise is based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), a proven method for breaking the cycle of negative thinking. Your thoughts create your feelings, so changing your thoughts can change your life.
Step 1: Identify the Automatic Negative Thought (ANT)
The moment you feel a negative emotion (sadness, anger, anxiety), pause and ask: 'What just went through my mind?' Write down the thought verbatim. Example: 'My friend didn't text back, they must be mad at me.'
Step 2: Identify the Cognitive Distortion
Look at your thought and see if it fits any of these common patterns:
- All-or-Nothing Thinking: Viewing things in black-and-white. 'If I don't get this job, my career is over.'
- Catastrophizing: Assuming the worst-case scenario. 'I made a mistake in that report, now I'm definitely going to get fired.'
- Mind Reading: Believing you know what others are thinking. 'Everyone in that meeting thought my idea was stupid.'
- Personalization: Blaming yourself for something you weren't entirely responsible for. 'Our team project failed because I wasn't good enough.'
- 'Should' Statements: Criticizing yourself or others with 'should,' 'must,' or 'ought to.' 'I should be over this by now.'
Step 3: Challenge the Thought (The Courtroom Technique)
Imagine you are a lawyer. Your negative thought is on trial.
- Prosecutor: What is the evidence that this thought is 100% true? (List all facts supporting it).
- Defense Attorney: What is the evidence that this thought is NOT 100% true? (List all facts against it).
- The Judge: Looking at all the evidence, what is a more balanced, realistic, and compassionate conclusion?
Step 4: Create a Balanced, Alternative Thought
Based on your 'court case,' write a new thought. Original thought: 'My friend didn't text back, they must be mad at me.' Balanced thought: 'My friend might be busy, or they might have missed my text. Their response time doesn't define our entire friendship. I can check in later if I'm still concerned.'